Red vs Blue News

RvB Season 3 on DVD! It's mine, I tell you. MINE MINE MINE! (or will be when it gets here!)

Hopefully this will cure my RvB withdrawals until they start Season Four this summer.

I also got some Bumper Stickers, one of them is a Red Sticker that just says "Blue Sucks", as well as a Blue Sticker that simply says "Red Sucks". That can be taken in a couple of different ways. You have your classic Red Vs Blue Halo match-up, or you can take it to a political viewpoint.

Somebody already got my Blue one. So I still have the red "Blue Sucks" Sticker. Maybe I'll use that one on my car when I get home? But I'll have to put the RvB bumper sticker before people start taking it out of content. no wait, I think most people will probably take it out of content. Well, good thing it lines up with my political background, except for the fact that I'm from a Blue State and I like my State.

Oh, what the hell, I'm just rambling. Its just to pass the time until Season Four comes out I guess.

Someone tell this Woman she is Not a Size 12!

My Eyes!

(oh wait, it looks like 250,000 people already beat me to it!)

One of Those Moments

Have you ever had one of those moments where you're so freakin' mad at something that you want to scream out at the top of your lungs how incompetant they are?

I'm having one of those moments. *sighs* Unfortunately, its one of those moments that I can't go into detail with.

Meanwhile. . .

I guess I don't want to leave this post completely without some sort of update. Since I've been neglecting my Blog as of late. *oh I hate reading posts about neglecting blog!* **smacks self**

This fourth of July they are having an ATV competetion. I'm not sure where, and I don't know where they are going to come up with these elusive ATVs, unless there are some on Bondsteel I haven't seen. Pictures will definitely come.

Also, a couple weeks ago Thund HER struck, and all chick tribute band to ACDC came to Bondsteel and I've been meaning to put some pictures up of that and haven't because I'm a bum.

ANd I did some vector control stuff too and took some pictures in my bitchin' white coveralls and I told Jon the Vector Control guy that I would post pictures on my blog. I have yet to do so.

Because I'm a bum.

But I have been doing a bit of drawing lately! I also redid the Gallery using the nifty Javascript trick I was talking about a few weeks ago. Like how that turned out. And I also added my gift/fan art section. Which I kind of did by Blog, because it just sounded easier in the long run.

And some good news! Today was the last day of the Freakin' Urinalysis until October! Yay! I am so done with that crap I can barely stand it!

But if I go into detail I will risk venturing into the beginning of this post. And I really shouldn't go there.

Just one of those moments.



Somebody requested to interview me for a blog.

It'll come out July 4th. More then.

DNBI is going to be the end of me. . .

To understand what this means, you'll have to understand what exactly the DNBI report entails.

You see, DNBI is Disease and Non Battle Injury, its a report of all of the people that come in through the hospital on account of things that were not caused by direct warfare. Sickness, injuries, things of that nature.

Most of the time its preventable. Anyway, Preventive Medicine was the one tasked to take all of the information from various sections and different Troop Medical Centers in the Theater and compile them together to make the report, which gets sent up to higher.

I'm the one that got tasked to do the report, and i've been doing it ever since I got here.

Now, granted, you can see that there is some sensitive information that goes along with the DNBI report, and therefore, I can't illude to too much information in regards to what happened to whom or what not. But basically, I'm the eyes of whats going on in the task force and the purpose of the DNBI report is to keep an eye out for trends and such things, especially in regards to illnesses and communicable diseases.

Which is a preventive medicine function, hence why we are tasked with compiling the report, as we use it ourselves.

Most of the time its pretty ho-hum, just gather the information (when you can get it on time, which most of the sections have been very good about) but what gets me is that lately everyone is thinking "oh, you're doing that, how about you help us by giving us THESE numbers" and so on and so forth so a report that was initially consisted of just taking information and putting it on a spreadsheet has now spawned into taking this information by individual Task Force and giving it to whom ever.

I found out today that I'm getting a hair overwhelmed in this tasking. So I put my foot down and told my NCOIC about it. He kind of looked at me and then said "if anyone else gives you any grief over this, send them to me."

This is what my day has come to consist of. Hence, why I don't tell you a lot about whats going on in theater. It ain't exciting!

Ahh. . . gotta love paperwork. . .



Busy at work a couple of days ago, and one of our jobs is to check out the outposts located in the MultiNational camps where we have soldiers stationed.

Its nothing much, we just go in and check in on them once a month, but while we were at one of the camps, I was smitten with absolute cuteness!


Fat furry rolly polly puppies. Eek! Adorable! I want to hold it and squeeze! And they are at that stage where they make cute little puppy noises and whimper.

Of course, these puppies will grow up to become Kosovo Mutts, and they will be big. I can already tell that they will likely dwarf their momma, but they are still so friggen cute!

I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist posting pictures about puppies. Four fat and furry puppies.

I wanna puppy. But I will resist, as I know they don't stay cute and cuddly for long. No, they become big and smelly.


Tuesday was Range Day

I went to the Range on Tuesday (took me three days to post about it, I know). It wasn't so much a day to qualify, more of a 'familiarize yourself with your weapon' day. We went to the range and fired at Targets that were about 25 Meters away. Since there were no foxholes, we fired from the Prone Supported and the Prone Unsupported position.

I can shoot anything in the Prone Supported position, had that rifle confirmed zeroed in 9 shots, but we were on these plywood Thing-A-Ma-Bobs and those are no fun on the elbows. That and we were firing in full flackvest, LBV and Kevlar. I'm not used to firing in a Flackvest. So I managed to get a good site picture in the Prone Supported, but once I got down into the Prone Unsupported position, everything went to hell in a handbasket.

We had to fire 20 rounds at 10 targets, hitting each one twice, in each position. So that's forty rounds for a grand total of 4 hits to each target. In the Prone Supported, I hit 19 targets, missing the 300 Meter target the one time by a couple centimeters.

I get down in the Prone Unsupported position, and by the time I made my way to the bottom of the target, I was rushing through it to get off of my elbows. It would have been a lot better if they just let us fire in the dirt. I doubt there would be Plywood Thing-a-ma-bobs there for us to sit on if we really came under fire.

So anyway, we fired in the prone unsupported. Well, if you looked at my target, you would say I hit six targets. Yeah, I hit six targets if you take into account that I hit a target I wasn't aiming for. That's how far off I was on this thing. Technically I only hit three targets. I was aiming low due to the fact that I was in an unfamiliar position with equipment I've never worn while firing on. Now, with Pop-up joes, I'll know if I'm missing them or not, as they go down or they don't. Then you adjust fire. If you're just firing at a piece of paper that is to far away to see if your hitting or not, you don't know if you are right on target or if you are missing completely.

That's why I loved the SAV-T machine. It will tell you EXACTLY where you hit the moment you hit the target, and you adjust accordingly.

So if we were qualifying with these things, despite the fact that I hit expert in the supported, I did so lousy in the unsupported position that I didn't even qualify! Where's the irony in that?

I saved my target anyway :)

I decided that this is good for familiarizing, but I think I'm going to stick to the Pop Up Joe, the Badass that I'm familiar with when actually qualifying.

I didn't get any pictures of me actually attempting to qualify with my rifle, however, I did get some kick ass pictures of the G36. Not necessarily of me holding it, (for some reason, I came off looking like a retard)

We had a German First Sergeant bring by some weapons from the German Army and we got to fire those badboys.

Commence with Pictures.


We started Sparring in Kajukenbo yesterday. Ow. Some of these people are pretty quick in my class, and I don't have my form down all of the way so sometimes I'm trying to block and hit with the same arm and end up flailing while I lean into the punch to much.

That caused me to get smacked in the throat. Ick. That didn't feel good! I also learned that blocking a kick with an open hand is not very smart.

But Sparring is one of the best ways to get used to the form of learning the technique, anyway I got the beginners form down pretty good, I just need to crisp it up a bit.

Ok, I need to work on my form a lot. Just going over punches and kicks in class outside of sparring is a lot different then actually using them against somebody.

Regardless, I had a lot of fun and found out what a work out that can be. I've also noticed a difference in my legs since I took up Kajukenbo. Its a good thing.

To think, I almost didn't go last night becuase I was 'tired'. Gimme a break. I need to slap any sign of weakness like that out of my body right now.

Especially since Sifu has recently stepped up the discipline in the class.

Drawing For Other People

Lately I've been getting into the habit of drawing in art exchanges, where you put in a character description of a character with a bunch of other artist types, all the names are put in a hat, and you are given a description of a character to draw within three weeks to post online. This is generally done through LiveJournal, and since I'm a geek that likes to draw animals, I got involved in a couple of Furry Art Exchanges, meaning Anthropormorhic characters. I've even got one back so far, so I've been having a lot of fun with it.

I've already drawn for four people, and I decided if I continue doing this that I should probably showcase my art somewhere. So I made another art blog, persay, just for this type of art. It includes pictures I've done and pictures that people have done for me. Much fun!

So far its got the lame title of 'guest art', but I think I'll think up something snazzier to title it later.

So anyway, the new Art Blog, specifically designed to showcase the illustrator in me! My goal is to get better at illustrating through this method, most of these are colored through Photoshop.


Today at Lunch

I sat down in the DFac and Nate sits down beside me shortly there after.

Nate: I got something to show you that is really hot!
Kami: Let me see.
Nate: *pulls out his M16 zeroing card, with all the little shot groups sitting in the center*
Kami: That is so sexy!
Nate: Look at my score card. *Pulls out his score card, with every target shot four times nice and cleanly in the center, save for one.*
Kami: What about that one? There are shots on the outside of the target.
Nate: Oh, I got him once. Besides, I needed a survivor to warn everybody else.

He said he would let me have them as a keepsake.

I have a great boyfriend.

More on my own experiences on the range to come.


Do You Think He's Rightfully Paranoid???

Me: Should I mention the fact that we're dating on my blog?
Nate: What, are you crazy? I'll get letters from your minions stating "From Risawn's Minion, if you, the defiler, are reading this you are about to die. we cannot allow you to taint the goddess.
P.S. die you SOB, This is laced with anthrax!"

I thought the conversation was worth putting up. Most people know I'm a blogger here, and now its going around that me and Nate are dating. However, rumors tend to fly on a deployment.


We're just dating, nothing more.


Subjected to My Experimental Coding Crap

This is a bit of coding I'm working on that you get to be subjected too. See, I'm trying to learn various new things through Javascript and HTML and because the Webserver for the Unit Website is currently down, I get to do this some other way.

These pictures mean absolutely nothing, they are just pictures I took at random and put on this. If you are wondering why I'm talking about Pictures when you only see one, its because they are supposed to rotate every time you refresh this page. Don't mind them.

Er, that is, if you could see them. . . apparently something is wrong. Or missing. Missing and Wrong.

Hmm. . .

That's why I'm doing this, to subject myself to trying to figure out WHAT went wrong.

The following is something else that's a hair bit different. Pay the random empty space no mind.

When I'm ready to put this kind of coding on the unit website, I'll be sure to find the other website I plan to use to do it. :) Meanwhile, this is my latest works in progress. We'll see if it works, when it works.

Update: Hmm, just pasted the above in a random empty page. It seems to work there. But only the second coding, not the first. For some reason, blogger isn't to fond of Javascript.

Blast. The second bit is the coding I really wanted to use. Maybe its Javascript coding used in conjuction with each other???


Star Trekkin'

I was over at The Boy's Hut and we were just kind of relaxing for the evening as I had a freakin' vertigo headache that sends me for a loop and he talked me out of going to Kajukenbo for the day, seeing he does Tae Kwan Do and was giving me some advice that Martial Arts and Dizzy Spells don't go well together.

I was kind of sad because I wanted to wear my new Martial Arts Shoes that I just got.

So we watched Trekkies instead. I guess I got a think for Documentaries, and heck, for Mockumentaries (ala Best in Show, Mighty Wind, Waiting for Guffman) however Trekkies was a full blown documentary about Star Trek Lovers.

I had never seen the show, but I felt a wave of nastalgia watching it, seeing as when I was a kid, right about the time Star Trek, the Next Generation ended, I became a huge Star Trek fan. It lasted about two or three years too. About the second season of Voyager is when the love started to die away (which started getting a hair bit cheesey).

But I had a serious thing going for Star Trek. But I stopped watching it because I guess I outgrew it, or something. Or maybe I realized just how over the top with velveeta Star Trek was.

Well, watching this show was relieving to me because I thought I was bad. Bloody Hell, some of these people are grade A psychos! Talk about Obsession, I'm just glad it didn't reach that level with me!

But for some reason, after watching that show, a part of me wanted to watch a couple episodes of ST:TNG. I know somebody who has a few seasons, maybe I can borrow a couple discs and watch it, see if I can remember how cheesy it was back then. And then maybe the desire will die away again.


When Dead Blogs Come Back

So, there I was, looking at my Blog Dashboard, which is customary of blogger, and I noticed that I've had several blogs just sitting there from when I started blogging roughly 3 and a half years ago. And they have been sitting there ever since. Completely untouched. See, because when I tried to revamp a couple of my blogs, you know, make it so that they had individual pages instead of posting on one single page, it killed my webspace and suddenly out of thin air 2 gigs of Webspace was gone. This was rather fishy considering I was only using about 50 Megs of it before I pushed Publish.

Side Note: Ignore the numbers, they are wrong. There are more then 10 posts on this particular blog.

Anyway, I thought to myself "you know, I should start transfering some of those posts to this blog, see what I come up with ya know? Then I can start deleting the other blogs.

Low and behold, I got half way through August 2004 (going backwards mind you) when I came up with a brilliant idea of deleting entries that I had moved to this blog.

The last entry was deleted off of that blog and transferred to this one, and suddenly, the blog published. . .

I don't know what to do about it now. I might just take it off again and ignore it (but if I did, then why did I bother talking about it just now?)

All I can say is that after going through those old blog posts, I had a real rant against John Kerry.

(The posts I updated are located in the sidebar under the archives, they were all in September 2004 and before, I'm working on getting more of them up. . .)



What is this strange meme type thing about tagging people on their webblogs? I'm familiar with this concept through Live Journal, but never via blog.

I guess I learn a new thing via Blogger every day. And with my luck, I'll tag somebody who's already had it.

Courtesy of Lone Tree On the Prairie.

Number of books I own:
Considering most of my books are back at home, in boxes, on shelves, and otherwise scattered through the horizon, and many of them I haven't read, I have no idea. Probably well over a thousand. I would think as much. I've got credit up the yin-yang at various used book stores back at home as well. And it is bliss. Ahh. . .

Though I hadn't read many books before coming on this deployment. Yet my minions have been far to kind in providing me with plenty of reading material, once I get around to actually reading them all.

Last book I bought: Death Gate Cycle, books One and Two. But I bought them for somebody else, because he told me that he liked Dragonlance, and anyone that reads Dragonlance has got to read Death Gate Cycle, because its the best series by Weis and Hickman EVER!!!

For me, that would be "drawing People, how to portray the clothed figure", because ever since I took figure drawing I could portray naked people a lot better then clothed people. And being a generally modest person, that makes for some difficulty.

I'm still waiting for it to get here. I should be getting it any time now.

Last book I read: Gallery of Regretable Food, by James Lileks. Considering I've been raving about James Lileks for the last few days, it is no wonder. I got it as a package deal with Interior Desecrations, and this must have been the best 30 bucks i've spent in a long time!

Well, maybe they weren't a package deal, they were just recommended together and I took a chance and bought both. I don't regret it! Everyonce in a while you just got to take a chance!

Five books that mean a lot to me:
You know, I think I answered a question very similar to this one when i posed my "ask me any question" post.

Except it was phrased a little more differently then. It was phrased as "three books influential to your life" and I had a weak answer then and I'll probably give a similiarly weak answer now.

Hmmm. . .

You know, this is a difficult question to answer for a multitude of reasons. One, after my brain hemorrhage last year, my memory is not as good as it once was (and a lot of people go "woah" when I tell them I've actually had Amnesia before)

So I'll give completely random answers. Because these aren't necessarily the books that mean the most out of all books, they are just five books that mean a lot to me.

Ok, I'm taking far to long to answer this question.

Harry Potter - the entire series which is five books right there, but that's a cheap skate way out. So I won't go there. Anyway, this series is brilliant and fantastic and best of all, its a clean series with no sex or language and an old fashioned black and white view of Good Vs Evil. And I'm a sucker for fantasy. There is a reason why Harry Potter is such a big seller.

Calvin and Hobbes, though I'm not sure how much these guys count, but they are a great comic strip that often poses questions and otherwise a highly entertaining read. I want to get this book. But I'm going to wait until I get home to get it. Because if I buy it here, I'll have to ship a thirty pound book home and that's just not smart.

To cover the classics, 'cause I want to get a variety of books on this thing, I'll include To Kill A Mocking Bird by Harper Lee, which is an excellent book that I was subjected to during High School that I didn't mind reading. I guess I could also include the watered down version of Beowulf that I read in Jr High as well. I've read so many different versions of Beowulf since then that I don't know which version is the true correct version anymore however.

For that matter, Flowers for Algernon. Excellent read. For some reason, I always liked that short story, but it doesn't really count because its a short story, not a book. But now I'm just rambling.

At great risk of revealing my religious beliefs, I need to include The BoM, mainly because of course anybody's system of beliefs whether it be how they were raised or something they have discovered for themselves is highly influential to them, and although I have often been flaggering in the past in regards to my spirituality, I still cling to my basic tenents of faith. Yes, its important to me, and in a way that I prefer not to go about talking about it in a place on my blog under normal circumstances. Last thing I want to do is incite a debate on religion in my Blog. I already had enough crap when I got into politics last year! And the BoM goes hand in hand with The Other Good Book. KJV is preferred read.

Last but certainly not least, I'll lump all of my writings into one category. Yes, my own stories mean a whole lot to me. You kind of get attached to your characters as I most certainly did. Sorry, there is no link, I don't have them available to the masses. But most of them are the size of a decent book. I won't say if they are good or not, that is up to me to decide and you to wonder about.

So, this is when I tag somebody else to do this thing too, huh? Um, Ok. Who reads my blog on a regular basis that won't mind answering a bunch of questions about books?

Oh, what the hell. Murray, you're up.


I was chatting with my mom and she wanted to make sure something was clear.

The Swedish Oil Massage. Because normally when people hear things like that, they get the wrong idea.

Yeah, I got a full body massage. But I was wearing shorts. They didn't massage THAT area.

And most of the time a towel covered the areas that wasn't getting a massage.

But it still felt really good. Except for parts of the leg that sent me giggling like a school girl.


I Never Know What to Put Here.

I had my first ever Swedish Oil Massage, which was a full body massage lathered in oil that took an hour. Very very weird, my favorite part was the contortionation of the various limbs at the very end and hearing your joints all crack with a loud *Pop*.

They have a Thai Massage on post, in fact they have a couple which isn't something you would think they have in a war zone, but they do. My calf didn't feel very good getting a massage, but after I got over the initial nervousness of the whole thing, I stopped giggling and started to enjoy myself.

And a couple of Tankers who sing Sweet Transvestite off of Rocky Horror Picture show is one of the funniest things I can say that I've seen while I've been here :) Karaoke night again, I've discovered that Karaoke is one of my favorite things to do here, and now I'm starting to find more songs within my range. What's Up by Four Non-Blondes is a hoot to sing, I was really getting into that. I think I'm going to sing it again and video tape it.

News alert, James Lileks is the best thing I've found on the Net since I discovered Red Vs Blue.


Dizzy Spells go hand in hand with lots of Pointless Ramblings

I spent a good majority of the last 24 hours sleeping. Mostly because I'm getting over a dizzy spell that has me teetering on edge when I'm sitting down. So the Doctors gave me some drugs that induce a coma and I've been trying to get things done but instead feel drawn to my bed.

Meanwhile, I sent out an email to people telling them to give me crap to put on the unit webpage and I think they're ignoring me. Don't tell me I have to bring out the Command Sergeant Major.

Although he looked at me and said 'where's the website? There's nothing on it.'

I could have told anyone that. Most of the work has been trying to decide how to put up the mounds of pictures on the website and upload them at a rate of 2kB per minute. Which means this will take a long time.

In other news, James Lileks is a freakin' genius. I spent the last thirty minutes thumbing through Interior Desecrations and I don't remember when the last time I laughed that hard was. Were these people for real? I can only guess that the truth is stranger then fiction. I think I'm going to mail this book to my sister Julie. I bet she would get a kick out of it!

Meanwhile, trying to work, but finding that hard when other people aren't exactly doing their job. Grumble. Or they are busy with other things that they forget that they have to send me something. Like how many people got hurt last week and had to have work done. I needed it by, oh, yesterday, and now because I didn't get on other people's hides about it, I'm the one getting yelled at.

Gotta love the army.

Anyway, the 13.1 Mile half Marathon is off, on account that I did indeed pull my calf muscle and am on 7 days of Work out at your Own Pace PT.

Well, at least my good friend who happens to be a guy will be getting back sometime today. I think we swapped most of task Force Tornado with the French and they've been over in the French Sector since Monday. And the French have been hanging out with us.

And I got the greatest shirt EVER.

Well, actually, its pretty high up there with my Minion Shirt.

Pictures to come of me wearing it.


The Current Goods

Quick update on the latest. . .

I finally, sort of, have the unit website up. See, its still missing most of its content, but I'm hoping to get that rectified ASAP. The Unit website is located here.
Task Force Medical Falcon XI

Now I have to get on the various sections' cases and get them to send me stuff so its not a barren website that only says 'Under Construction' everywhere you go.

So that's the current big task I'm having at the moment.

I also temporarily lost my sanity and signed up to participate in a Half Marathon over at the Finnish Camp (or was it the Fins who were sponsoring the 70 K road march? I forget which), however I haven't really trained for it and on Sunday I was playing sand volleyball and somehow I tore my left calf muscle and I'm thinking about going to Sick Call this morning to get that checked out, as well as this weird Nausea I've been having.

I'm still doing Kajukenbo, in fact, thats the most successful endeavour I've undertaken while I've been here. But when I was working out yesterday, I hurt my calf even more. So I think the Half Marathon is a No Go. I'll talk to CPT H about it this morning after Sick Call. I wanted to do it too.

So that means I have to get in on the next Dannish Road march if I want to do something kind of Psycho while I'm here, mostly just to say that I did it. I really want to do a Road March.

Meanwhile, the French Army is doing an exercise in our Sector and are camped out here in South Bondsteel so we've been seeing the French everywhere. The Germans were here a few months ago doing something similar. I'm tempted to say Bonjour to them, like I was saying 'Guten Morgen' to the Germans, as that is the extent of my French Language speaking skills, but they've been beating me to it by saying 'Hi' first. I'm not sure if they're trying to get away from the French Hate Americans abotu as much as the Americans hate French Stereotype or if they are having girl withdrawals (because crap, everyone seems nice to me when they first meet me here) or maybe they really aren't the French that everyone makes them out to be. For crying out loud, they are in the military so that does say something!?!

So I vow to say 'Bonjour' to them first today and take them by surprise. Most French don't expect Americans to start speaking to them in their native tongue.

Right after I go see a doc about my leg.


Small Arms Virtual Trainer.

Just another name for the thing that made me famous previously.

You know, the M203 with the hose attached?

Well, they have Simulation type things here at Bondsteel too, and I saw something that looked totally bad ass that I wanted to pose with. You know, its just sitting there, looking at you saying "play with me!"

There, on the floor, sat an M2 50 Cal Machine Gun. Drool.

But note my complete and utter ignorance, I have never fired a 50 Cal and I don't know the first thing about positioning and what to do with one if one were to come across such a marvelous piece of war machinery.

Well, I ran into one problem, these things are usually mounted to the top of something, like a HMMW-V, not a piece of wood, so I was already looking kind of weird trying to position myself behind this thing.

And it had sights. Now that I look at it, why does a 50 cal need sights? Trying to position myself behind this thing as if to use the sight post to aim at my target, the recoil on this bad ass would knock me straight in the eye.

So I'm hunched over this thing, trying to figure out where to put my feet and how to aim this thing, and its not working to well. I'm hunched over like Quasimodo and can't get a good feel for this thing.

Maybe if I tried to sit up straight, it would have worked better?

Doesn't make me look like any less of a freak however.

My personal favorite pose was the one with me and my demonic grin, directly in back of the modified M2 (hence, its completely safe to stand in front of this thing to take a picture). If I could learn to actually fire something like this, I could blow up the whole freakin' world with this thing.

But your definitely dealing with Hospital Types when you start posing with weapons. Its a medical thing.


Food and STDs

On friday I had to give the FMPP brief. FMPP is Force Management Pass Program or something of that nature, it is the Bulgaria trip mostly. Anyway, before you leave you have to do a Brief and Preventive Medicine, which is my section, has to give a portion of it.

I don't mind giving this briefing at all. In fact, I like to give it. Though apparently people tell me I go red in the face when I have to talk about my part.

That might make sense in a moment.

Anyway, people have to go over the safety portion of the briefing and all that jazz as well as the medical portion and then it comes to me. My job is to tell them where not to eat and not to screw around (literally).

So we get around to listening to the droning of the earlier briefing, because these people mostly have to give this thing every week and you can tell that they're bored, and I'm thinking "I plan on waking these people up a bit".

One way that my NCOIC had gotten it into people's heads so that they wouldn't forget the food issue is by the use of the words "explosive Diarrhea" and "Projectile Vomiting". Excessive Number 2 and 3. Yeah, that would kill any desire to eat at some of those questionable restaurants. That being the idea.

But by far my favorite topic of discussion is STDs. You see, when your dealing with a Task Force where the Male Female Ratio is 10 to 1 or even worse then that (like the guys at Monteith) some of them like to think of this trip to Bulgaria as a little opportunity to get some. And I don't care who these people are, whether they are married or what not, people are screwing around. I don't care who people are screwing around with, just as long as they give me enough warning that I'm not in the same room with it (which had been a problem earlier). So you got people going to Bulgaria to fool around and get a little, and Preventive Medicine is in charge of making sure you don't get any STDs because we get to councel you in case you get some.

So we get to drive home the point of avoiding the screw around by explaining STDs and what they will do to you. SPC D had set up this awesome power point that went into graphic detail of some STDs and some of the higher ups thought it was a little to graphic for the fragile minds of our soldiers or something *gag* so now we have this really boring powerpoint which is as basic as you can get. So we have to go into lavish detail about explaining these diseases as what they will do to you.

Like, you can get Genital Warts even if you use a Condom. And its non-curable. You can get Herpes even if you use a condom. And it too is non curable. I wish I could have gotten into detail on the multiple exposures to Gonorrhea (that will make anybody make sure their partner is free of this disease before trying to get some themselves) but I only had 5 to 10 minutes on food and STDs.

From what I understood, I woke a lot of people up. I also got commended on doing a fine job with my part of the power point.

And whats more, when these people come back from FMPP, they get to pee in a cup. And I'll be there to collect.

I wonder what kind of STD comments I'll get next week?


For Your Remote Viewing Pleasure

We had a mind reader come to Bondsteel and perform for us named Craig Karges.

That dude was a trip!

He had complete audience participation while he had his eyes taped shut and then covered with a blindfold and proceeded to read people's minds through Remote Viewing. He would have to write things down as they came to him and at times would have two or three people stand up in the audience and say things about them. Of course, they had to be thinking about that item for him to be successful. For instance, at the beginning of the show, everyone took a slip of paper and wrote their name on it, then they wrote something on it about themselves, like their birthyear or where they're from and then they wrote something about what they were thinking.

A friend fo mine named Todd got selected for this when Karges asked somebody in the audience to stand up with the initials TE. He then proceeded to tell him his name was Todd, and mention that he had changed his mind from thinking about Greece to thinking about his wife instead. I talked to Todd afterwards and he showed me the paper he had wrote on and sure enough he had Greece scribbled off and Wife written next to it.

He also mentioned how one guy was thinking about a specific car and described it to the point where the guy just gave up.

I might be a bit more skeptical if I hadn't participated myself. He had four people stand up toward the end and I just wanted to try this for fun so I made sure I had stood up. He asked one guy, who happened to be Nate to give him a car. At first Nate said Tank (he's a tanker) and was told to change to something a little more practical, so he said a '52 Mercury Sedan. He asked if that was the car he wanted and Nate confirmed it. The next guy described it as being Black. He gave the option of changing the color but the guy stood by Black. The Third guy was then tasked with giving the license plate number, to which he said NK6969. When asked if he wanted to change any of the letters or numbers, the guy declined. Then he looked to me and asked me to give him a price. My first thought was $50,000. But as I was thinking to myself, I thought, 'No, that's to much' and chopped it in half and said 25 Grand. He then asked me if I wanted to go more specific, so I said 25,242. He then asked me if I liked that answer and then I blurted out 32 cents. He kind of smirked at this and asked me if I wanted to change any of the numbers. I decided to change the the first two to a one, because there was just to many 2's in there. And now that I look at it, there was a pattern. $25,242.32 . I didn't notice that until now.

Anyway, I changed my answer so that it was $15,242, sort of dropping the cents. So he wrote everything we said down and asked me to pick out somebody in the audience. There was a girl behind me in a norweigian uniform (and therefore, different from the rest of us) and so I asked her to stand up. She was kind of shy at first but was a good sport about it and headed up on the stage. He read out the description of the car that we gave him and we confirmed that that's what we said. Then he pulled out his wallet and in it zipped up was tucked an envelope, which he handed to the Norweigian Soldier and told her to tear it open. Then she read out loud to the effect of "Currently I am in Monteith and tomorrow I will perform at Bondsteel. At the end of the show I will pick four people at random and they will describe a car to me. That car will be a 1952 Mercury Sedan, Black, License Plate NK6969 priced at $15,242.32."

I thought that was a pretty wild trick if I don't say so myself. Though when I went up to him afterwards to ask for his Autograph, he asked me for my name and I just smiled at him. He couldn't read my name so I finally told him. Then he tried to guess how to spell it and failed miserably. He was pretty stuck on the 'C', thinking it was Cammy, or Cami, or Camy, and when I finally told him K-A-M-I he laughed and mused about how off he was. I guess he was winding down.

But of course he gave me a little talk bubble to the side with 32cents written in it.

I think I shall henceforth go to more of these entertainers and see them. They have definitely been keeping things interesting in an otherwise boring environment.


Highlights of a Slow Day

We're reaching the midpoint of this deployment. Where everyone is getting lazy and starting to slack off. And things are becoming monotonous.

In the office today, we were all looking at each other with the 'blah' expression plastered on our faces.

But I'm getting a little change up in my routine. Yesterday, I conducted my first Urinalysis ever. Yes, I was in charge, if I told you to pee in a cup, well, dag gum it you better well pee in that cup!

Even though by army regulation we're supposed to conduct these things once a month, we've been having logistical problems with the whole Pee in a Cup program. But now things are starting to run a lot smoother and kind of last minute, I got a crash course in handling a bunch of soldiers that need to go pee *now*!

And I will hence forth be doing a wizz quiz every few days for the first part of this month. Then I will get to skip a few Pee Tests when everyone's comfortable.

Today we also went over shipping the urine via Official Mail.

The highlight of my day is shipping off pee. What has become of my life?

Oh wait, there's a magician coming tonight. That will be the highlight. I stand corrected.