12.23.2010

That Time Of Year

Tis the Season! You know, when you go out into the roads trying to find those last minute gift ideas or whatever else you need to buy and then you wonder why you left the house in the first place?

There's been snow on the ground since November 22nd, which was when we had our freak blizzard. It melted in town but out in the boondocks where we live, it's hung around a little while longer. Giving a young married couple with no kids a lot of thoughts on what to do besides the obvious. I love winter, it's a great time of year, but you are limited on what you can do especially if you are looking for ways to conserve money.

So I am looking for things to do with my man (besides the unspoken obvious) that doesn't require us to continue to dive into the bank account. He's got the next week off from work, you see. So, it's list making time!


The Unspoken Obvious (come on, we're married)

Working Out (middle of week two for P90X!)


Horse Back Riding (we're feeding them anyway, might as well put them to use)

Surf Internets (certain sites are not conducive to maintaining healthy bank accounts, Craigslist comes to mind)

Watch movies (loves Netflix!)

Play Video Games (Wii, Playstion 3, Xbox 360, and older consoles, we have plenty to use)

Play Browser games (biggest time waster in the history of time wasters!)

Snowboarding (alas, money issues arise, expensive hobby, but we got the equipment as long as we don't mind making the trek to where the hills are)

Writing (loner activity, doesn't excite hubby much)

Blog about Random Crap (sure my readers would appreciate this, especially if they like me blogging about random crap)

Photography (what is it with men and taking pictures anyway?)

Bake cookies!

Sledding (damn, we need a sled. Hmm, see snowboarding)

Combine sleds with Horses! Or Snowboards with Horses!
Build a Snowman (wait for the powder snow to get the right consistency)

Fireworks! (we live out in the boondocks, this will likely be a new years thing since we're hosting this year and I've got a tote full of them)

Do Art (I got a whole room downstairs dedicated to a studio, as soon as I get it organized. . . hmm)

Organize Art Room (so I can do above)

Clean house (*sighs* yes, when you've got nothing else going on, this is probably a good one to fall back on. A clean house is a great feeling)

Work on long neglected Webcomic (best done when honey is not home, because he would undoubtedly grow bored)


Read (again, loner activity)

Visit a Bookstore (I used to LOVE doing this, should do more often)

Indoor Rock Climbing (got all the gear, if it wasn't below freezing out it would be FREE!)

Hot Cocoa, a Fire, and cuddling (can lead to unspoken obviousness)


So, that is SOME items I came up with. I'm sure I can figure out some more. So, any suggestions? Think childless married couple who often acts like big kids themselves, because that's us to a tee.

EDIT - MORE Items to consider!

Scrounge through crap and list on Craigslist for a little extra mullah

Rearrange furniture (though probably to soon to do this)

Clean out the garage/shop so hubby can have his space

Come up with to do list for little projects that need to be done around the house (honey's love honey do lists I know! Hah!)

Look for a job in this crappy economy so we don't have to worry so much about finding free things to do

12.19.2010

P90X Week One

P90X, week one complete.

To give you a little update on me, I try to stay active, but lately I've been kind of ho-humming it around the house and living married life, and now I know why people tend to settle down. Anyway, my original plan was to get into spectacular shape and then maybe work on getting pregnant so I can stay active through my pregnancy.

Of course, when I discovered I had gotten pregnant sooner then expected, you kind of are forced to take it easy, and if you weren't all that active before the pregnancy, you really shouldn't be choosing then to up the activity level.

Alas, with my miscarriage, and the holidays, and everything else, I've been kind of taking it easy for the last couple months or so. I'm feeling it, so I decided I was going to begin working out. My husband had P90X workout videos and I decided I was going to do these to get into shape.

So, what is P90X? It is basically a work out regimine that is constantly shifting so you are working your entire body doing different kinds of exercises every day, and therefore working different muscles and giving other muscles a break. For my first week, I didn't do a whole lot of pushing myself, mostly because I didn't have the proper equipment and also because I needed to familiarize myself with the exercises before I just jump full on into it.

The first day is Back and Shoulders, with a little abs thrown in there as well. Back and shoulders basically is Pushups, Pullups, more pushups, more pullups, and when you thought you had enough, you do more pushups and pullups. This one is very much back to the basics and anybody who's been to basic training has likely done something very similar to this exercise (except pull ups in the army are dependant on pull up bars, which we don't always have readily available). I should have done better on my pushups, because, well, I'm in the army, but I've been neglectful on my conditioning and that is one of the places I've been neglectful on. So I did my pushups, not pushing myself to hard this week because I knew I would be sore the next day and that would be the end of my motivation to work out (because I'm human, and that's one of the sucky parts of working out is the pain the next day).

Well guess what? The next day I was feeling it. But I gritted my teeth and told myself, damn it! I'm going to do this and there's no backing out now! So I popped in the next disc, which is Plyometrics. This is basically a bunch of exercises that help you be more nimble and quick on your feet, and help with the jumping aspect of life. It's a cardio workout, in otherwords. And Cardio is where you start sweating. This workout had me going and I certainly felt it. What's interesting, I didn't feel like I was working the same muscles as before, it worked all different muscles.

Wednesday was arms, and it boiled down to weights. If you don't have proper weights, you won't get a good workout here. Well, I basically got a gist of the workout, but I wasn't really worked because I lacked the equipment, and ended up doing it with three pound weights. It got some tricep muscles worked, but that's about it. So before I do this excercise again, I went and got some bigger weights. Eventually I plan on having a few at my disposal. Oh, and when you're done, you do Abs.

Thursday was Yoga. Yoga and I are going to have to learn to come to an understanding, because I'm not flexible at all. Eventually, I'm guessing that that will come, but in the meantime, my balance and all of these funky moves will need to be worked.

Friday was legs and back. Lot's of lunges and squats, and more weights, I definitely felt this one, but would have felt it more if I had proper weights. And the pull ups were back. Oh, and don't forget, Abs.

Saturday was Kenpo, think kind of a TaiBo workout. Lot's of kicking and punching, definitely a cardio workout.

Sunday is a day of rest, or you can do the stretch workout that they provide. I haven't done this one yet. I'm debating on getting up the motivation to stretch out. mostly because each of these workouts are between an hour to and hour and a half. i feel that I'm in pretty good shape regardless, but now I need to push myself a little harder.

Who knows, a month of this and i might be able to do Combatives level 2

12.14.2010

Women in Combat

I saw this on Hotair and thought, "hmm, current topic that I can comment on!"

The topic of course, being apparently that some congressional panel decided it's time to send women into combat. For whatever reason. My thoughts on this?

Largely mixed. I do believe if a woman is capable of doing something that she sets her mind on, she should go for it. But in regards to combat arms, capability is key.  She needs to be able to do the job to a high standard.

Look, I'm talking as someone who was stationed at Fort Knox Kentucky for 18 months (non concurrent) and the units I was in were all male, and then there was me. I might have had an XO or a supply sergeant that was also representing our gender, but you guessed it, female here, in a company of up to 258 people which most were representing the opposite sex.

The thing was, a lot of these guys eventually went on to work in non combat arms fields and chances are they were going to be working in a co-ed environment. Now don't get me wrong, I pulled my weight and held my own, but I had to push myself that much harder to do a task that was very easy for my male counterparts. And sometimes I fell short, which was a gross disappointment to myself.

Look, let's just get to the grit here. This isn't about Women in Combat, because women are in combat all the time. This is about women in Combat Arms. Tankers, Cav Scouts, Engineers, Artillery and Infantry. They are broken into smaller units and have a very precise and often demanding job to do. Because every soldier is an infantryman first (even women, that's what Basic Combat Training is all about) I know most about the infantry set up. You know what the infantry does? They ruck, go out on patrols with all their gear, and kill things. Sounds good, sign me up! You know what, when I was twenty, I would have been all over that. I'm thirty now, and trying to pull my weight with my infantry counterparts (and great guys they are too) and damn, my 5'3" frame is not always up to snuff on those long road marches up Misery, Agony and Heart break. You know what, a lot of those young privates aren't up to snuff either. A lot of them fall back, some fall out. Infantry is no joke, it is very demanding.

You know what I didn't see a lot of in Fort Knox? Stress Fractures in the hips. You know what I see a lot of at Co-ed basics like Fort Leonard Wood and Fort Jackson? Stress Fractures in the hips. Because in Basic Training you are learning basic Infantry techniques. These are the basics. You want to learn more, go to Fort Benning and they'll grill you for an additional month.

The thing about Combat Arms is everything about Combat Arms is very physically demanding. Which gets me back to my original point.

If a woman wants to be an infantryman, if that is her one heart's desire is to endure Sand Hill at Fort Benning Georgia so she can wear that Blue Chord and Disc, she better be able to perform up to a certain standard before she even makes it to the reception station. She should pass the PT test at the female standard at the minimum and pass it at the male standard before she graduates. See, the military understands the differences of physiology between men and women, some think it's a bunch of bull but sorry, and sure there are exceptions (I've seen many weak ass boys in my time) but by and large they are there. That's why there is a different scale for men and women in the army. I only have to do 17 push ups to pass a PT test whereas a guy my age has to do 39. I only have to run an abysmal 20:30 two mile to pass, and the same age for a guy has to break under 17. If a woman can prove she's the exception, let her have it. But she needs to meet the exact same standard the men have. And you know what? it's hard! Is it possible? Yes, I've know some tough as nails chicks in my military career, but they have to work their asses off to maintain that physical condition.

Me? I'll let the young bucks do the hard work, and I'm at a stage in my life where I'm done with that phase of wanting to kill myself. Would still love a shot at doing Airborne, but if it never happens, I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

Of course, there is that other dynamic of working in a largely male unit as a female. let's get real, hormones exist, they flare, and in the sweaty stinky environment that is the army, especially in the close quarters that is combat arms (and hell, Basic Training), you think that testosterone isn't running rampant? We breed for testosterone, Hooah! Now, lift don't ask, don't tell policy and let Lesbians serve in combat arms, you probably won't have to much fraternization between the sexes in those cases, but every other case? You know how often men and women sleep together in NON combat arms units? What happens on TDY stays on TDY is an military way of living for a reason. Hormones FLARE! I don't know what went wrong with me, guess I was just a fluke (and let me tell you, my battles knew I was an exception to the rule) but half of Co-ed Basic is baby sitting the boys and the girls and making sure they don't shack up with one another. What a pain in the ass. Ever have that workplace relationship that went sour and you still have to work with those people? Imagine that happening on deployment, ten thousand miles from home, and you find yourself feeling a little something with your saw gunner. Things get intense, you rendezvous in the foxhole a couple of times despite your Squad Leader saying otherwise (because it doesn't matter what the squad leader/drill sergeant/company commander/general order number one says, when two privates want to do something in the horizontal, they are going to find a way to do it) and suddenly things get sour. Awkwardness ensues on patrol. You think office romance is weird? Try infantry romance. I bet it is equally awkward with two men who happen to fall under the don't ask, don't tell policy (and why perhaps don't ask don't tell should stay in affect for combat arms for this very reason).

What I'm saying is, it happens. Hormones are a very human thing, and I don't care what kind of super soldier you think you are, people are driven to procreate. Combat arms is a very different environment then the rest of the military. And it would be even a little bit more awkward when one of your riflemen ends up pregnant, despite the use of birth control, because I doubt the logistics will always be fail safe in the middle of Afghanistan and the condom in the heat of the desert may just lose some of its effectiveness. Oh, and the whole monthly constitutional that women go through.

So, in finality, can women serve in combat arms? Yes, but mostly on a case to case basis. Discrimination is absolutely vital in these regards, and the military completely should have the right to discriminate. Dude, it's not always a bad thing. I know some people always flout the evils of discrimination but sometimes it exists for a reason, and the military has a very good reason. I don't think they should open the flood gates to let any woman who wants to swear in to the US Army to take a position in a combat arms unit. The selection process for her should be very difficult. And if she stirs up trouble once she gets into her unit, well guess what? Maybe she shouldn't have been there in the first place.

The military is about team work, not about the individual needs of a person's desire to be a grenadier (ooh, pick me, pick me!). And if a girl shows that she has what it takes to earn that infantry title, she further needs to prove that she has the fortitude to be a soldier first and not be a distraction to her comrades. You know what? That's easier said then done. The needs of the army should always be first, and if they need more bodies for cannon fodder on the front lines and they need to open up combat arms to women to get those numbers, well, they might discover they've opened up a can of worms.

But I guess if Israel can do it, why can't we, eh? Do it all over again, maybe I should have gone infantry?

Hmm, nope. I think I'll stay where I'm at.

12.09.2010

Killing Myself Through Working Out

So, I am seriously thinking that getting my lazy butt into shape is in order. Married life has not been conducive to my productivity, or so i have coem to notice. And I am finding myself circling the internets, and I must say that facebook is the biggest waste of time ever invented.

Starting next monday, I want to change it all.

I'm going to do P90x.

What is P90X you might ask? Well, it's this really intense workout that you do for 90 days, fortunately you can do it at your own pace, but i've heard a lot of good about it and your supposed to see some amazing results. Since I've been kind of in recovery mode for the last month, I think it's high time I get my lazy butt in gear. So on Monday, I'm going to start working out. I might have to restart it a couple of times, you know, because my muscles will be soar the first few days and I might lose motivation when I wake up stiff the next morning, but damn it, I'm going to do this! I just have to keep myself motivated and not lose sight of my goals. And that goal is to get into fantastic shape before I attempt to get pregnant again. Because with my luck, I'll get pregnant right away and then I'll be up a creak with out a paddle because if you haven't been working out before getting pregnant, it's not always a great idea to start working out. But if you are already working out, and doing something crazy like, say, P90X, I think they recommend you tone it down a little but otherwise carry on.

I do not want to be that person who gains 50 pounds and sits on her ass throughout her pregnancy. My genetics is kind of predispositioned for weight gain *sighs* (thanks mom) but I do want to be in kick butt shape before another surprise pregnancy happens, and this time, dag nab it, I plan to be ready!

So, er, does anybody care if I blog about my p90x experience or are you all thinking 'meh'.

Maybe I should take some before and after pictures? Especially if I make it through. If I give up half way (or I don't make it past the first week) you can all point and laugh at my feeble attempt.

11.22.2010

Forty by Forty

They say thirty is the most dreaded birthday out there.  And alas, today is my thirtieth birthday.  The big Three Oh.  It is kind of surreal to think about, seeing as I sort of feel like a kid at times.  I think this year is going to really make me grow and mature however, something about the changes I'm going through would probably do that to anybody. 

So anyway, a going trend for people going into their thirtieth year is to select thirty things they want to accomplish by the time they turn thirty.  They range from taking a trip to reading a book every month to whatever, and it's posted on their twenty ninth birthday to be reflected on the following year. 

Well, I hadn't heard about this little challenge when I turned 29, and then I saw my cousin post it and I thought 'What a brilliant idea!', it's kind of like a bucket list without the death involved, so it gives you a little more of a timeframe to work with.  But seeing as I learned about this seven months to late, I decided that I am going to use an entire decade and make a list of things I want to accomplish by my fortieth birthday.  So, here are forty things I want to do before I turn forty.

1. Go Heli-skiing
2. Publish a book
3. Get a scuba diving certificate
4. See all fifty states
5. Set foot on six continents
6. Get my bachelor's
7. Go Zorbing
8. Run a Marathon
9. Show jump on a horse in competition
10. Get a motor cycle license
11. Learn to play Guitar
12. Climb Mt Rainier (I'll be satisfied with that, no need to put Killamanjaro or Everest on there, but if the opportunity arises, I'll take it :)
13. Play an extra (with an on screen appearance, no matter how small or brief) in a movie
14. Break a horse from start to finish
15. Ride and Tie
16. Learn to Sail (lookin at my sis in law here)
17. Enter my art in a gallery
18. Take up Archery
19. Become fluent in another language (likely german if any)
20. Hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
21. Participate in an Improve Everywhere event or something of the like
22. Ride in a Hot Air Balloon
23. Bungee Jump
24. Bungee Jump out of a Hot Air Balloon?  (ok, I jest, though I'll knock 22 and 23 together if the opportunity arises)
24 for Reals.  Go on a Safari
25. Sky dive solo
26. Compete in a triathlon (and by this I mean really compete)
27. Own my own business
28. Visit the Louvre
29. Witness a total eclipse
30. Ski (or rather, snowboard) the Alps
31. Learn a martial Art (and stick with it!)
32. Learn to dance
33. Sit in a studio audience at a live TV Show
34. Have a fully functional Zombie Plan
35. Plant and maintain a garden
36. Join a book club
37. The Price is Right, need I say more?
38. Purchase a wheel and kiln, and make pottery with it
39. Be 100% debt free
40. Become a mom

Another list I saw recently (courtesy of Instapundit) was a list of 30 things I wish I had done before I turned 30, and I was tempted to do a list about this too, but then I got to thinking, you know, I've had a pretty good life thus far.  There has been some regrets, but I can't really say I regret where I am now.  I look at a lot of these kinds of lists and I'm amazed by how many items these other people put on there that I knocked off in the last few years or so.

And I've still got ten good years to get all of the things I wanted to get done by now to get these things accomplished.

Note, it is difficult to come up with 40 things, and if I don't get half of these done, I think I'll be ok with that. a lot of these are things younger people do anyway, and I'm good with what I've accomplished so far.  Also, not a single item on my list is military related.

11.14.2010

Addictions Much?

So these days I've been on a no lifting profile, meaning no lifting anything over 20 pounds, so it has kind of limited me on what I can do around the house.  My house is a constant work in progress in an effort to get things a little more ready for Thanksgiving, which we are hosting this year.  It's exciting for me to host, and this will let us know if we are capable of holding other family functions in the not to distant future.  Our family is quickly expanding, and we've sortof outgrown my parent's house. 

My expanded time off has given me a greater appreciation for things to do when one is limited.  I'll admit, I think recently I've grown quite annoyed with the computer (the whole rest and relax thing) I've discovered I really take it for granted when I'm in good health and I can work on other things, but now that I'm stuck and forced to relax, well, I find myself getting  bored with what I do normally.  Surfing the comptuer that is.

Really, I think I'm getting sick of the computer, why is it in this day and age everyone is wired so much?  I discovered the computer, and I mean really discovered it, in high school and now I feel like I'm always online.  Now I have my smart phone that I feel like I'm checking every five seconds to see if somebody posted something or responded to me or whatever.  Really, it's a very narcissistic lifestyle people have these days.  Facebook is all about ME!  Have you noticed that?  It's fun to check up on other people, but it's mostly all about you and other people reacting to what you say.  I enjoy it, I admit, and it's nice to keep up to date on people you find from childhood or from years ago.  Some people I probably would have completely lost contact with if it wasn't for facebook.  But still, what a timewaster in the scheme of things.  I think I need to limit myself to one time during the day to check update statuses, comment on what other people say, and then get off and work on other things.  Like household duties.

The house, fortunately, is coming along.  It feels so much better now that it has been painted from flesh tones to more neutrals and light colors.  Fleshtones are meant for people, not walls.  And one thing that I feel like I'm coming along with is domestications, and I look back and think 'you know, it would have been nice to take Home Economics' even if it was a typical girl class in high school, like how boys take shop (and guess what I took?)  I think I had to grow out of that independent stubborn streak though, and I find it's fun to keep a house and now that I'm getting more into cooking, I find myself scrounging for recipes that are easy to make.  And though I never really liked cooking before, I'm discovering now that I'm really enjoying it.  Aint that something?

So I got a little more then a week before I find my house over come with toddlers and teenagers, men burrowed down in the basement watching the tv while the womenfolk work on the big dinner (yes, traditional household here), and I find myself a little disappointed that I won't likely be going on the yearly ritual of plinking on Thanksgiving (I'm hosting afterall, I need to be at home with the guests) i guess I can say that i'm enjoying the prospect of what's to come.  I got a long life ahead of me, let's make the most of it.

And try to get off the computer when I can't do much of anything else.

11.11.2010

On Heartbreak, and the Solace that Everything Happens For a Reason

Today is Veteran's day.  Many of my readers may suspect I would post about my thoughts on this holiday, being a veteran (of Kosovo), but I would only be repeating what many people have said before in a far more eloquent fashion then I ever could.  Instead, I feel the need to post on a topic far more personal and a little more closer to home, especially for me now. 

Today marks my niece Olivia's third birthday.  However, she is not here to celebrate it, as my family lost her not even two hours after she was born.  I had the opportunity to hold her for a brief moment and share in the mourning of her loss with my sister, and my heart ached for her then, though I could not fathom the pain she must have went through carrying that precious child to term knowing she would lose her.

Strange how in the long term what an impact Olivia's short life had on our family and on my sister, who grew tremendously from it.  And despite being on the eve of the anniversary of her own daughter's loss, my sister was there for me. 

I kind of got a suspicion something was wrong for a while, but this being my first pregnancy I didn't know what to expect and was taking it one step at a time, and not dwell to much on things and just try to focus on the positive.  I went in for a New Beginnings Orientation through my OB-GYN office on Monday, and as they were briefing me on things to expect through this pregnancy and signs to look out for, I became concerned about one in particular.  I've been having a dull ache on one side for a while, and learned that this is a symptom of an Ectopic Pregnancy, better known as a Tubal Pregnancy.  I talked to the nurse afterwards about it and my concerns about feeling that strange abdominal pain, she assured me that it could be a number of things and not to get to concerned, but definitely call the doctor's office if things got worse.  But something gnawed on me and I went to my parent's house, calling my mom and letting her know of my concerns.  I asked my father for a Father's Blessing, just to be on the safe side (a religious custom).

However, I can't help thinking that I knew I lost this baby then.  I tried to take things easy over the next few days.  I woke up Wednesday morning, surfed the internet for a bit, went out and fed the animals, and that's when it hit me.  Something was definitely wrong, I was overwhelmed with a terrible abdominal pain.  I thought perhaps it was lack of water and got a glass to drink but it wasn't going away.  My husband Gus, having worked graveyards, was still asleep and I didn't want to disturb him, but as the pain got worse, I couldn't help but call my mom for advice.  Something was definitely wrong.  The severe pain was followed by hot flashes and just got worse.  When the bleeding started, I finally called my OB-GYN.  They recommended I go to the ER, especially when I started getting the shakes and the chills. 

My mom finally made it out and my husband was awake by then, most of the pain had subsided and I made my way to the ER, which followed a lengthy wait, with a blood draw, an ultrasound, and all of that.  There was some concerns as the embryo was nowhere to be found and the concern of an ectopic pregnancy resurfaced.  My blood draw came back seriously low in HCG hormone, the levels at around 200 when it should be somewhere between 6-9,000.  The pain had mostly subsided but the bleeding continued.  The doctor confirmed what I had by this time already known, I was having a miscarriage. 

Having it confirmed though really brought it home to me, even though I knew from that morning that this was probably what was happening.  I finally broke down, the reality that I had lost my pregnancy at seven weeks hit me. 

Although they couldn't find the embriotic sac during the ultra sound, I passed it later last night, finding a small mass of tissue that could only be the remains of what had been that short pregnancy. 

I don't think anybody could describe the flurry of emotions one goes through during a pregnancy, from the moment you find out that you are carrying a life inside of you, and I cannot begin to describe the feeling of losing it, which is followed by a sense of great sadness and mourning for the potential of what that life could have brought to me, and how much I was expecting it to change my own.

But the truth is, that short pregnancy did have an impact on me, and I can't help but think it happened for a reason.  I'll be honest when saying that the timing was off for me, when I learned that I was pregnant my first thought was 'crap, now?'  But once I got over the fact of what I was losing by being pregnant, the plans I had made for this next year, the freedom to do and eat what i wanted, was replaced by this excitement about what this tiny life was going to bring to my own, and how this experience would change me and forever mature me.  And in the short two and a half weeks I was pregnant, it really did impact me, it definitely got me out of the mindset that it's not just me anymore, it's us.  I share my life with another now, and every choice I make impacts him and every life that we bring into this world together.  And I realized I needed that tiny mass of life to help me leave my independence behind and come to terms that it isn't all about me anymore.  This short life had a meaning, had a purpose.  When that next surprise comes (and yes, our goal is still next fall), I'll be prepared for it.  I will look forward to it, and my first instinct won't be 'crap, what's this going to do to my plans', but rather my first instinct will be 'here we go!'  I have a suspicion the next one will come to term, and this one was meant to prepare me for that one. 

My deepest fear was an Ectopic pregnancy, I do admit.  I am at peace knowing that I had a normal miscarriage, that these things happen, even though it is still a heartbreak I wouldn't wish on anyone.  What concerned me most about the chances of the Ectopic Pregnancy was not just that having one would put me at high risk for future pregnancies, but the actions i would have to take if it was one.  Ectopic Pregnancies are very dangerous, and can be fatal to the mother.  The embryo can not be brought to term.  But the hardest part for me to deal with in that situation would not be the possibility of what it could do to me, but the actions I would have to take, namely ending the life.  I've always considered myself pro-life, but this pregnancy confirmed that I am.  I am grateful that the pregnancy ended on it's own terms, and did not force me to take action against it.  That would have eaten at me more then anything now.   

This experience has confirmed a lot of things to me.  One, that I have a wonderful husband who has been very supportive of me, and I can't help but think that I got the better end of this deal.  I have a fantastic family who I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.  I feel that I don't appreciate them enough, realizing that life is so short and I should enjoy every minute of it. 

As I was sitting at home, not knowing what to expect, I found myself thinking that I needed to focus on the positives, and my facebook update was "Always Look at the Bright Side of Your Life", and in this case, I don't want to dwell on the negative of losing this pregnancy, but the positive of what came of it.  Gus and I have a little more time to get to know each other a little better, as per our original plan.  I think I'm a little more ready for that next pregnancy, and it gives me a little more time to get myself in the shape I want to be in for the next time.  My plans from before can go into affect, but I'm prepared to be a little more flexible, and ready to take life as it comes.  I can go back to training Turtle and riding my other horses, look forward to what looks to be a fantastic year for snowboarding, get the house ready to host thanksgiving, do a few races with my sisters and sis-in-law, and perhaps get to take part in the hooah training that my unit has planned for the next year. 

If any new surprises come my way over the next year or so, I probably won't mention them until I get over that hump of a first trimester.  I was kind of wary of talking about this pregnancy so soon after I found out, being only five weeks along when i made the announcement.  But i felt like I was announcing it to the world anyway, since I had to inform my employer and my unit, find different arrangements for my horses, I didn't see the point of keeping it secret. 

I thought I would hold onto this little tidbit a little longer then I did.  I am surprised that I'm so willing to talk about it so soon after it happened, but have found that talking about it is very therapeutic for me, and getting it out will help me move on, and letting people know now that no, I'm no longer pregnant so they don't have to go through the awkward phase of asking me how I'm doing only to hear that I lost it.  I likely won't discuss it much again in the future, but do know that I am doing alright.  Death is a part of life, and though I was looking forward to meeting this little determined spirit that I was so sure had done everything he could to make it into this world despite his parents working to delay his entry, I'm sure it's only a matter of time before he makes another go at it.  I'm just hoping he gives me a couple months to recoup before he tries again.

11.05.2010

Plans for the Stay At Home Housewife / New Mom

What to do with myself?

I may have mentioned before that my mind gets racing and I often have these ideas of things I can do or write about or whatever.  Of course, right now I'm just plain exhausted due to my present condition.  I was working graveyard shifts at the airport to provide a little extra income but put in my two weeks as soon as I confirmed that I was indeed pregnant because my job consisted of cleaning airplanes.  Right now I kind of want to avoid cleaning chemicals.  I do need to get another job (aside from my weekend warrior stint, don't know where that's going to go for the next year other then me just sitting around because I really shouldn't do anything) and it has got me thinking. 

Truthfully, though I am fiercely independent in mind, I'm old fashioned at heart.  Hey, what can I say?  I am conservative and I was raised in a two parent household with five brothers and sisters and my mom was largely a house wife.  I don't want to raise my kidlings via day care, I think the day care generation that is coming into age now a days has a lot to say against it because of the fact that their parents weren't at home raising them.  I fully plan on being a stay at home mom and being the primary raiser of my offspring (until of course, my husband retires from the Airforce and becomes a full time stay at home dad and sends me off to earn the living, so he says)

Fortunately, with the invention of the internets came many great and wonderful things, such as working from home.  I'm trying to figure out what exactly I can do where I can be available for my kids and be here for them where I am also earning a living on the side and therefore contributing to the inflow of household cash for other things like clothes, food, and spontaneous trips to wherever our minds or hearts take us.  I want to get back into blogging, like I mentioned before, I enjoy it and I felt if I pursued it when I got my fluke hit with fame back in 2004 that fizzled due to Army not liking my blogging habits (and since then, I have come to better understand their concerns, but still) so yes, when I feel up to it and not completely wasted by exhaustion, I might post my thoughts and opinions on whatever.  But I don't think I can ever make a serious living off of blogging alone. 

Fortunately, having a house has given me one thing, and that is room to get back into my art again, something I have been dutifully neglecting for the last six years or so.  I don't know if I can make a serious living off of my art, but the extra income would be nice and I can do something that I love to do.  But how to market it?   eBay?  Craigslist?  Could I just sell random stuff on either?  Hmm. . .

It got me to thinking about some of my other hobbies and things I like to do, why not marry them together? 

Children's Book?  I've been wanting to do one for a while.  Well, I'll be stuck at home next spring and through the summer?  Well, it's going to be a while, maybe I can write and illustrate one, market it and find a living?  Would love it if I could do that, so I think I'm going to give it a shot.  What's the worst that can happen?  Nobody buys it?  If nothing else, perhaps I can make just enough to recoop some expenses. 

But first, I have to get my studio up and running, in the spare room I've claimed in the house. 

Other thoughts, possible Photography business, since I have the equipment.  Maybe even get in with my two sisters and work with them from time to time.  Just as soon as I find my little niche in the world I guess.   

11.04.2010

bad hair

 Just a thought. 

Some decades are largely depicted by the hairstyles of that era.  You can look at a picture and just by the hair know what decade you are in. 

For example, the fifties had the greaser look. When you see this hairstyle you know you know what decade you're in (or in this case, trying to portray)
 
The 60's came with beatle mania, and the mop top look.  

 

The seventies introduced the notion of truly bad hair in my opinion, from long hair on guys that took a little to much time styling to look a lot like beauty icons of the era that were women.

Seriously???

Love the burns with the football helmet

You're the wront ethnicity to really pull this off buddy. 

I think the 70's offered a challenge to bad hair and the 80's took them up on it.  How else could you account for the mullet?  Truely the biggest atrocity ever to face mankind, and so many variations of it as well.  People, this is not a good haircut!

Business in front, party in the back

You look like a douche. . .

Granted, big hair bands started in the 70's, but they certainly carried through into the 80's 

The 90's were pretty calm for the most part.  Except they weren't without their blemishes.  for one, who can forget the dreaded Rat Tail, the mullet's offspring I'm sure?  Highly popular in the early 90's,  I had a few cousins who even wore this monstrocity and we called them on it then!  



There's also the bowl cut.  Granted, tolerable depending on the severity of the cut, this style has survived decades for some reason, it was probably established by one of the three stooges.  For some reason, it was popularized in the 90's to a degree my husband even wore it.  With a part down the front.  Love ya Gus, but please keep it short :)



Which brings me to the current era, which we are just leaving.  For the most part, this decade was made up of Faux Hawks.  Actually this decade has largely been rather tame and not entirely unpleasing to the eye. 

Save for one. 

I guarantee, in a few years, people are going to look back and wonder 'what in the hell were they thinking?' 

10.27.2010

Story Time

This is a story, about a boy and a girl, and one determined little kid.

See, this boy and girl met each other, hung out together, found themselves compatible and decided to begin dating. They did things the old fashioned way when he finally popped the question and she said yes. They were married in a quaint backyard wedding with a few friends and family present.

The boy and girl, seeing as they were only briefly engaged, decided to take their time in starting a family. They had many plans, they wanted to travel together and see the world, get to know each other a little better, encourage each other to stay active by participating in different races and relays, they were already planning on what they wanted to do, thinking perhaps ‘next fall’ would be the perfect time to begin their family. There was a lot on their plate, girl had some jobs coming up soon that she was looking forward to, boy had things he wanted to buy, things were well for the two of them as they completed their house and were starting their life together.

The kid had other plans. Though the boy and girl decided to be careful, tracking the time of month and their fertility calendar and arranging their unions around that and using some contraceptives (girl was a little weary of using hormones in her birth control), the kid had apparently waited long enough as the boy and girl were entering their thirties and decided ‘nope, sorry mom and dad, I’m coming now.’ The girl was a little bit frazzled when she realized the kid decided to come a year ahead of schedule, trying to wrap her head around the thought of becoming a parent, but alas, her original plans were thwarted with new ones.

One determined little kid was entering their lives come June or so.

Moral of story? Condoms aren’t foolproof.

PS – I’m pregnant. . .

10.21.2010

Westboro Baptist Church in town

So Westboro Baptist Church, the one entity that both the Left and the Right can agree on is a rabid bunch of idiots, is coming to town today.  I'm torn, on one hand, I want to go and counter protest because I think they are idiots, but on the other hand, I think they need to be ignored and just go away, unfortunately that is likely not to happen because they thrive off the attention. 

What a despicable group of people.  I might just check out some things and take a few pictures, see how the counter protest goes.  There's talk of traffic congestion where they go.  One thing for sure, they don't know how to schedule a protest, because they are going clear across town from one location to the other.  From Whitworth to Ferris?  That is like polar opposite sides in this city. 

Morons.

Update:  Seven.  That's how many people were protesting, seven.  They were each holding two to four signs that said inflamatory comments like "God Hates Fags" and "Thank God for Dead Soldiers," and other insightful comments.  But these didn't really get me one bit when I realized that the counter demonstration was what they were after.  And it was impressive, at one point I would have guestimated between 2-400 people showed up to counter protest.  Lot's of rainbow flags and signs expressing of unity, I'll get some pics of those in a minute.  And while the counter demonstration was big, and it was impressive to see all these people of different stripes come together to offer their support, I get the impression that the WBC measures how successful their demonstration is by how many people show up to counter protest. 

In other words, if you want to make an impact on these peope, ignore them.  Treat them like they don't exist.  They say mean and hateful remarks for the attention they recieve, and for a mediocre group of seven people to show up and protest sites like Gonzage because they want to 'remind this generation of rebels that there is a God and that all things unfold according to His divine plan', and because 'college students spend more time pursuing their drunken sins than their academic studies'. 

I actually find it amusing why they chose to picket Moody Bible Institute.  'The instructors at Moody Bible College prefer the praises of men to the praises of God and thus they will not teach their students the truth, that God Hates Fags, Fag Doom Nations, America is a Fag Nation ergo, God Hates America!'  In other words, they picket places because they don't teach what Wesboro thinks they should teach.  Unless a church decries that God Hates America, then they are blasphemous and allowing their followers to go to hell, apparently.

Which brings me to my original dilemma that I faced this morning.  Do I go and counter protest which adds fuel to the fire, or do I leave them be?  And I've come to the conclusion that if you are ever unfortunate enough to have these fools show up in your home town, leave them be.  in fact, go out of your way to not even drive near them, what would do more for counter protesting these imbeciles is if nobody showed up to their demonstration.

Like I mentioned, there were seven of them holding signs.  Seven.  They were there specifically to antagonize people and the big crowds probably made them feel powerful, that they were able to get that many people to care about what they had to say.  It doesn't matter what they had to say, they could say the most offensive thing in the world, but the fact that people showed up to counter them meant that they had our attention.  There will always be people like this, all you can do is ignore them, which will derive them of their power base. 

The exception to this?  I would say funerals, and in situations like this, all you have to do is place yourself between these idiots and the grieving family, and once you have blocked the view, turn your backs to them as if they weren't there. 

Violence will do nothing against these people, all one needs to do is ignore them.

That said, here are some pictures of the demonstration.




There's the whole group in one shot at Gonzaga.  Morons.  Unfortunately, the sizeable demonstration against them was probably exactly what they were after. 
The counter demonstration at Gonzaga.  This was the first stop, it was just getting started, so the counter protest was still smaller.

Love this!


 Indeed, it should have been on a lighter sign, but the sentiment is awesome

This wasn't the counter demonstration, but a demonstration for Gonzaga students in regards to hate groups.

Some of the signs (um, seeing that 8 has a 't' in it already, there's an extra t in that sign)

The front of the sign

and the back, excellent message

I would say that this was the most offensive sign on this side of the demonstration.  "Jesus is gay", well, considering that this is a counter protest that involved anyone who disagrees with Westboro Baptist Church, and that's pretty much everyone, this is inflammatory to just about any Christian.

Snicker. . .

WBC at Moody Bible Institute.  To the left there, behind the cop car.  Yeah, same seven.  The right side in the back is a counter protest.

This doesn't do the counter protest justice, this was just a fraction of it. 



That was one benefit of the counter protest, how it unified groups that generally didn't normally get together.

:)

"Thank You for Bringing Our Community Together"


The Patriot Guard Riders

I followed them to Whitworth, because part of me wanted to actually talk to them, on tape if I could get it, but I didn't see Wesboro there, and like I mentioned, I didn't want to give them the benefit of my attention.  Ignoring these guys is the best way to deal with them.  



10.20.2010

Graveyards

Whenever I'm at work I can come up with a million and one things to blog about, mostly because I have a lot of time on my hands.  I am by my nature a night owl, at least I was when I was younger but I do realize that graveyard shifts are not the most conducive thing to my social schedule.  It is kind of nice that I can choose to sleep in the morning or in the evening, thus freeing my day for other events if they should come about, but still, well, I have to say that Grave Yard Shifts kindof suck.

I've never worked a job consistently on graveyard before (there is a first for everything) but the work is rather easy in the scheme of things.  I can just go into autopilot and let my mind wander.  It's not a retail job afterall (which I was dreading the possibility of going back to retail, Nooo!) but in the long run I would rather be doing other things. 

However, it does keep me humble, as I need to do something productive to contribute to the household, and this job kind of found me (long story).  If left to my own devices, I would go strictly housewife routine, and my husband would probably tell you I'm not a very good housewife.  See, I lack domestication, being super independent before and addicted to the internets.  But I vow to get better, starting with learning to love how to cook.  My husband likes food, and is old fashioned in that regard.  He'd probably like it better if I didn't work graveyard shifts too, but alas, until I find another source of income for me to contribute (preferably from the home) I'll keep working this shift.  That's motivation for me. 

I just have to find the right job.to do.  Anything to get off the graveyard at this point.  Aside from retail.  And fast food.  I draw the line somewhere.

10.16.2010

Chickens

I have five chickens.  I used to have six.  One has recently disappeared.  I think some critter got to it.  Probably the same place one of my barn cats went too. . .

My task is to get them to lay eggs.  They were laying when I first got them, and then they stopped.  It might have been dog related (dog's gone), not enough space (they're pretty much free range now) and they just finished molting (shouldn't they start laying again?).  I guess that leaves me putting a light (and heat) on them. 

But anyway, this is my latest quest.  To get my chickens to lay eggs again, and perhaps to get a few more chickens to join them.  Chickens are amusing creatures I have discovered, they make the funniest noises, and it's interesting how a bunch of birds have different personalities. 

But if they aren't laying eggs, why do I have them?  I guess they make a good food disposal, they'll eat just about anything I throw at them, to include chicken.

10.15.2010

The Horses

One of my latest things is Horses. I've got three (plus a boarder) so I might as well write about them and introduce you to them so you know who I am talking about when I start talking about them.

First there is Jet.
 Jet is my skinny old Tennessee Walking Horse that's coming about 23 years old.  She is my tride and true throw anybody on her that is a reasonable weight horse.  She does great with kids in that she tests them just enough to see what they know and if they give her conflicting commands she doesn't do anything.   But if you prove that you know what you're doing she responds as well.  She is old and therefore lazy, but still has some go to her.  I've also been in the process of working to keep her weight on, as she is my bossy dominant mare in the pasture and tells the other horses what for.

I purchased her in April, but not really for her.  It was a two for deal, but she's grown on me. 

The horse I purchased her with is Breezy.

Breezy was kind of thin here for whatever reason, but she's porked up recently.  She's a quarterhorse lineback dun, and I have to get her age confirmed officially because I originally thought she was eighteen and then I was told she was fourteen or fifteen.  This little girl has go, she LOVES to run.  She's also a gaming horse, I just did a bit of pattern racing on her recently and holy crap have I found a new love!  So much fun!  This horse knows more then I do and she is very well trained, take her out on the trails and she just wants to go.  She also allows a confident beginner to ride her, she is not hot, though once she starts going she is difficult to slow down, and she does these super tight turns that can take you by surprise if you aren't ready for them.  Everyone who rides this horse loves her.

Magic is the boarded horse. 


Approximately 15 year old Morgan Mare that has a nervous habit of immediately starting to sweat as soon as you get on her.  She is actually a great trail horse, if she doesn't know the trails she listens a lot better.  However, the trails near our house she knows and therefore she just wants to go and prances a bit.  She's not a bad horse, but she has a profuse amount of sweat that can get a little disgusting.  And all she wants to do is eat.

She belongs to a friend, but I have been riding her more then she does, mostly because when I go out with people, I tend to put them on Breezy and Jet and I ride Magic. 

Bo was a trial horse.  He turned out to be insane, so he stayed for a grand total of three days. 

Ok, he wasn't really insane, but he wasn't rideable due to an injury.  He had some other issues going on.  It was kind of fun in a scary 'I'm going to die' way when he went into a bucking fit with me. 

Then there is Turtle
Turtle is our resident gelding that we got about three weeks ago.  The only boy in a field full of girls, poor guy.  He is actually quite sweet and cuddly as far as horses go.  He's also an off the track thoroughbred, having come off the race track in Portland.  No big races though, a couple maidens and when he finally won one of those he went on to win a few claiming races, but nothing big.  He's our project horse, can't wait to try him on the trails and see how he does.  I kind of have it in mind to teach him how to jump.  Don't know if I'll do any serious showing with him, but he is quite calm and mellow for a former race horse.  He's only six, coming seven too.  He'll go when pushed, but he prefers the leisurely stroll, which is nice and the anti Magic and Breezy, who just want to go go go.  He's also going to be a husband horse, because he's so tall, and my husband is a full foot taller then me.
So there are the horses (and one former horse) that I ride.  Next year I anticipate that I'll be doing a lot of stuff with them, especially Breezy and Turtle.  Jet has become more of the guest horse, when people come to ride I throw them on her. 

That's my herd.  Unfortunately, I get this idea in mind as soon as I see a horse for sale I want to check it out and perhaps buy it.  Husband doing a good job of reining me in on that.  I think for now these four are going to be our only horses, but perhaps I can talk him into letting me bring another one in?

10.12.2010

Political Season

It's political season. Everyone have their permits?

What is it about election years that gets people's blood boiling anyway? I've been following this election year fairly closely, its been amusing to watch to say the least.

My hopeful outcome, Republicans take the house for sure, put serious gridlock in the senate, and the outcome is similar to 1994 by forcing Obama to tack strongly to the middle. Then perhaps we can have a pretty well flowing government in tune to Clinton's term. I'm no fan of Obama, but if it forces him to tack right, I'll make due with it, even if it gives him a second term.

My problem is that it has become increasingly obvious as of late that all Republicans in charge is about the same as all Democrats in charge. Checks and balances work a lot better when everything is not run by one party, and it keeps the government small. It also helps when you have a strong president like, say Reagan instead of one named Bush or Clinton or Obama. Maybe I'd give the Republicans another chance at running everything if they pulled their heads out of their butt and acted like Conservatives. That's one reason why I'm a fan of the Tea Party movement, which I got involved with (on a mild basis), mostly due to the explosion of the government and the extreme debt. I love how they have really shaken up the establishment and I'm rooting for them to keep at it. Social issues need to be largely left to the individual with only limited government interference. I know how bloated bureaucracies work, the larger they are, the more inefficient they are. And the government is huge, if you want to see an example of waste, look no further then the people running this country.

Looking at different republicans that are potential Presidential Candidates, I like Palin but feel she has a long way to go to prove she's capable of leading to the country when at the moment she has a polarizing affect much akin to Hillary. I think she has what it takes and would vote for her if she ran, but at the same time, I'm not sure if she'll make it past the primary election if it were held today (or maybe she could, but could she defeat Obama right now?) I'm still learning of the other candidates as they come onto the scene, maybe I should do more research on them before I make an opinion? I guess as 2012 nears, I'll be able to make a better judgement on that.

What is a Conservative? Small Government and Free Enterprise

Lately I've gotten to know Bill Whittle, mostly through Instapundit really, and every video I've seen is great. If you want to figure out a way to articulate what exactly a conservative is, this video is fantastic. If you are of a liberal persuasion and can't understand conservative thought, this video sums it up. This pretty much is right in line in regards to my thoughts on small government and free enterprise (I believe there should be some regulation, yes, but our current government over does it). Heck, i couldn't have said it better so if you have some time I highly recommend you take a look.

Life Happens

So I guess I should give a full update of what I've been up to these last few months, should I? I gave one a while back, but it was kind of rushed and then I kind of left it to the wayside.

Let's start off with this year. I started the year off at home, as I was on leave from the military. I hooked up with a good friend and we were hanging out, mostly at his place, going snowboarding, riding go-carts and ATVs and basically getting to know each other better. Then I had to go back to Fort Knox and finish off my orders there.

I was home again in February. My time in Fort Knox pretty much killed my blogging last year, which was why I didn't blog. So much happened this year that I never really got back to it (and blogger killing FTP didn't help either but in the long run that's probably a good thing since it took so long to upload my blog). So anyway, back to February. We hooked up again and continued hanging out. Went to Bend OR and went snowboarding at MT Bachelor.

We decided when we got back that we might as well say we're dating.

Oh, and he's Active Duty Air Force. Meaning he deploys.

Without going into a lot of detail with that, he had a deployment this year, which we thought would be in the fall but got bumped to late spring. Things got a little rushed after that. Being as old as we both are, with not to much emotional baggage and very little physical baggage (neither of us married before) in March he asked me to marry him. In Vegas of all people. Many people thought we would actually elope there, but we're both still caught up in the old fashioned way of things.

When he asked me to marry him, we had to set a date. It ended up being a small wedding, very little fanfare, in his backyard. A month after we got engaged. I don't recommend a rushed wedding to anyone, but I guess it worked for us, and to be honest if it took any longer I would have been a worse Bridezilla then I turned out to be.

We were married three weeks. Then he deployed and I went to being single again (ok, not really, but I didn't feel like I was married)

I spent all summer tending to the property and the house (in only a way that a newly wed non-domestic can), and in the time of our engagement to present our family has expanded from the two of us to two and a half cats (one disappeared, but I won't write her off as completely gone yet), six chickens which don't lay eggs, and four horses, one of which isn't mine and will thusly be called Boarded Horse Uno (Dos will be showing up here soon, bringing the full count to five). I spent the summer traveling around, bonding with his family, riding horses, and working for the army. I kept busy, but didn't get a lot of things for my house done. That included, well, blogging. It didn't help that my desktop crashed and I sold my truck.

Anyway, he came back and we're back to wedded bliss, or at least trying to work out the kinks of married life and get used to being around one another. It is definitely a different experience then I am used to, but in a good way. I just have to let go of my independent streak and embrace it. Sharing a life with another person can be a good thing.

So where do we go from here? Well, like I said, we both like to travel, we have some vacations plotted, as we are waiting at least a year before we start a family (but if things happen before then, we'll take them as they come). I have three horses, one is my ol' plug of a kids horse that shows a bit of spunk now and then, the second is my speed demon gaming horse that I have discovered pattern racing on (and yes, I will be blogging about this!) and the last being our project, the tall retired race horse that is a big giant love. I might acrue some more chickens too.

Right now I'm looking for ways to earn some money from home (hey, AdSense, even if it's only a few bucks a month!) and domesticate myself by learning how to be a house wife, something I really never saw myself as being until recently. But it's a good thing! We're painting the house (already a vast improvement from the horrid brown of before) and trying to plan trips to other continents besides this one.

Lot's to do, things to see. And maybe I'll remember to blog about it.

10.11.2010

Liberal Advisory, Conservative Content

This is just a blog that I might post back to in the future, especially towards anybody who comes and reads my blog who may be of a liberal persuasion. I have several friends and acquaintances who are far more liberal then I am. I don't want them to think that just because of our political differences that I think differently of them. I disagree, but generally I avoid talking politics with these people. I value our friendship more then my right to alienate them due to a difference of opinion.

Do I think I am right? Well, yes and no. I don't know everything, but being conservative it is a cornerstone of what I believe. It is right to me. May not be right to you, but that's just what I believe. I have always been conservative, but how conservative I am has fluctuated through the years. When I was younger I was more liberal then I am now. I am somewhat liberal on some topics. But overall, I would call myself a fiscal conservative and social moderate, in that I believe largely in the idea of live and let live. I would prefer if the government would get out of the business of ruling our lives.

Now, if you disagree with my postings, feel free to post and debate on the topic. If you keep it civil, I will respect your opinion and enjoy a friendly conversation back and forth. Who knows, you may even persuade me on a certain topic. It's been known to happen before. I am opinionated though, and I am usually knowledgeable on the topic before I opine on it. But I'm always looking for another viewpoint.

However, if you are here to troll, speak in a deragotory fashion, and resort to flaming and name calling (and I've had plenty of that on my site), you will not win any arguments here. I love eating trolls for breakfast, and over the years I've grown a pretty thick skin. Ad Hominem attacks have little use here. Most people who know me know i am mostly a pretty reasonable person, but if you are out to set me off, I'll berate you back and move on with my life. Waste your time all you want. I really don't care.

Apologies in Order

If you follow my feed, and you were spammed by a bunch of juvenile posts that were backdated for 2002, my apologies.

I'm in the process of merging all of my blog posts into one blog, and if you were to go back and read my posts at the time, you would find that my posts were rather incoherent and a little rambly, hence the title of my blog.

You have been warned if you go back and read them. Why you would, I don't know. Why I'm putting them on the internet for people to read, I don't know either. I had some interesting rants back then, but when I started blogging, I was rather juvenile at it. But I got better with time.

Relaunched Ramblings

I really like to blog. I miss it. I'm going to try to get back into it.

The big difference is now I have to do blogging through Blogspot (though I'm going to try to direct it through my website so at least its on my domain, hmm).

So anyway, as you can see, the blog looks a wee bit different. I'm still in the process of updating my blog links and appearance and all of that fun stuff, so this will be a work in progress.

That being said, what else has changed about the blog? Actually, not much in regard to content, I'm still going to write about whatever I want to write about, the key difference being that I'm older and a bit more mature then my earlier blogs, and hopefully not so narcissistic. However, this is an opinion blog and I pretty much write about whatever I want to write about.

The exception is military matters. Unless it's related to current events or what not, I probably won't write much about my life in the military, because it's a headache producer and I don't want to deal with the drama. The other exception is going into a lot of detailed with my personal life, being that I'm married now. I might post a little bit about married life and all, but posting about my significant other is going to be minimal. I don't really see this as being a mommy blog or one of those.

What else has changed? The obvious is the comments, I've just changed to Blogger's default comments, which sucks because I lost all of the comments from my previous blog, which are actually archived on my website and direct linked there. Up until May, this blog is actually mirrored on my site, just getting to those posts is a hassle. Some of the more popular blog posts I might actually take the comments off of, but overall, everything is starting off from scratch.

I also added advertisements, because I decided to sell out, but not only that, because being a lowly house wife these days, I'm trying to figure out ways to make money. I had a successful blog at one point, maybe I'll get it again? Maybe not, but whatever, why not try to make a little bit of an income with it? Doesn't hurt to try, does it? Will it be successful or not, only time will tell. But I love blogging enough, I had some kind of early freakish success with it at one time, that I thought I should do something to profit off of it somewhat, even if it's only a few bucks a month.

Might as well get paid doing something I love.

So that's about it. Hopefully everything runs smoothly with the transition and I can get the blog appearance to grow on me.

8.10.2010

So, what Now?

Do I feel like I'm fooling anybody?

Truth is, once upon a time I loved to blog. It was a way to vent my frustrations in a somewhat public way and let anybody who cared to read to opine on my feelings, or share in them.

However, in the last five or so years, I have discovered that the military and blogging don't mix. The military hates blogging, so every time I have been on active orders the blog comes up. It never fails. Even since the popularity has died on my blog and my readership has shrunken quite a bit, my blogging has still been an issue, so in the last two years, I just really didn't do it anymore. Which is a shame really, after I got the exposure I did, I had a potential to really go somewhere with it, as it is something I really enjoy doing. Or at least, I did enjoy it.

So where am I now? Currently I'm living away from my husband (who's deployed) on a piece of property that always has something going on that needs tending too. I've got two horses, I care for a third for a friend, three barn cats, six chickens, and a skunk that I swear that as soon as I see it I'm going to send some buckshot in its direction. My desktop computer has kicked the bucket and my laptop has questionable internet connectivity at best. I stare at my webcomic and wonder if I'll ever revive it again. I need to look for a job and somedays I just babysit the neighbor's kids just to remind myself why I don't have kids yet myself and I waited so long to get married in the first place. In other words, my life is busy, I can only opine on current events, and I'm so busy that I read blogs like Hotair, Rightwingnews and Instapundit to keep up to date on what's going on in the real world. I don't feel like I have time to really blog to a point where I can really do much with it.

If it wasn't for the army killing it for me, maybe I would have a decent blog that was profitable for me that I could work at (because that would seriously be awesome if I could get paid for blogging, or writing period. I love to write and it sucks so much of my life away already that I might as well get paid to do it) that I don't know if it is worth the effort to get the blog going again. What do I really have to write about other then life on the farm, what's going on in my world, and why Barack Obama can't seem to do anything right (well, I'll give him kudos for the basketball game he played for the wounded troops or something along those lines, give credit where credit is due).

So that's it, isn't it? Besides, in the next few months I really need to work on my domestic skills and I don't think to many people are interested in another mom blog, which when I start having rugrats, that would undoubtedly be what this turns into. That's why I have facebook.

7.01.2010

Blog Info and Technicalities

So, I've been busy, as I have been lately. It's easy to post a quick update on Facebook and leave it at that. But I do want to get back into blogging, mostly about life and opinions on different things, going back to different things. You may have noticed the blog has been changed a wee bit, yes, I do intend on freshening things up, but I noticed a tremendous lag in it before, and I'm tempted to renew my original webspace and move it to a different server.

So the look is temporary until I can get things looking the way I want them to again.

5.28.2010

Arizona and the Oil Spill

I've got a confession to make.

Other then what I've read in the few blogs I do visit, I haven't been really following the whole Oil Disaster in the Gulf Coast. I've heard of it, but I guess I don't realy comprehend how big of a problem it is. This might be because I don't watch news or maybe because the news hasn't really been reporting that much on it.

Whatever the case, what I do hear about it is that they are comparing the Gulf Oil Spill for Obama as Hurricane Katrina was for Bush. Well, I didn't really follow that much either, I had other things going on at the time when that disaster hit too (I was overseas in Kosovo at the time).

I've been following it a lot more since then, but i still honestly don't know a whole lot about it to really inject my own opinion on the whole debacle. Other then, if you could blame Bush for Katrina, where the people of New Orleans had plenty of notice to get out of the area and in all actuality it could be seen as a local disaster (and FEMA was probably more to blame then Bush), then you could definitely pin this on Obama. Not the initial damage of course, that's all BP, but the reaction to it and the slow moving to correct it from the executive level, yeah, I think I'll have to say that his reaction has been far from extraordinary. In fact, it's kind of difinitive of his actions as president so far, so to speak. I find it interesting how he's doing everything he can to pin the blame on somebody other then him. Has this guy taken blame for anything in this presidency?

Which brings me to Arizona (which i've heard a lot about). I think I want to take a trip down there sometime this summer. It's actually quite a beautiful state, one of these days i'd like to actually go to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and hike around down there.

Isn't it interesting how people who oppose Arizona's new law always refer to it as an anti-immigration bill? But they leave an important detail of what kind of immigration the law is against. yeah, that's right, illegal immigration. Hmm. I think if you come into the country lawfully the State of Arizona will still be happy to have you. Get your facts straight, people, illegal immigration happens to be a serious problem in Arizona and there is nothing racist about it, being a border state, Arizona just happens to get a lot of Illegal Aliens that happen to be Mexican decent. Put the two and two together, it's a coincidence, not racist. I hope these boycotters get a huge fallout from their boycotts.

Yep, Arizona sounds like a nice place to visit sometime this year.

Milblogging

From this point on, I guess I probably should admit that my milblogging (when i do it) will more likely be related to current events and the military and my opinion related to those rather then my personal experiences within the military, as I have come to realize over the course of the last five or so years that me and Milblogging don't really mix. Because of that, I can relate my personal opinion on current issues such as DADT, any lame awards that they are kicking around, and issues such as women in the military or what not. Though i like to get political, one thing I will not do is criticize President Obama's role as Commander in Chief. I'll criticize his other policies and agendas, but this is one area I will not get into.

That said, getting ready to leave over Memorial Day Weekend to get the next stage of my schooling out of the way and then I can continue on with life. Now that I'm gettng back into blogging, I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to comment on over the next few weeks. Um, I guess we'll see?

5.27.2010

My Opinion on Don't Ask, Don't Tell

I originally wrote this post in february, but for some reason, didn't post it. Oh well, I'm just going to post it now.

Ok, so there is a lot of haroohaha going on about Don't Ask Don't Tell right now. It was stated as one of President Obama's goals to rescind this year, so that gays can serve openly and honorably in the military.

My feelings on this are mixed, and I will tell you why.

Gays can serve in the military now, Don't Ask Don't Tell allows them to serve, they just can't be open about it. It forces them to just remain quiet about a certain aspect of their person.

Now there can be something said for and against this, for one, people shouldn't have to lie about who they are, though in my opinion it isn't a lie, it is just withholding of certain aspects of a person's identity.

So we get into my opinion on Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

Actually, I did a report on Don't Ask Don't Tell when I was in college. I took it more from a preventive medicine perspective then, but in truth, soldiers by their very nature are a horny group of individuals so I don't think it really stands up. So what's my basic opinion of Gays in the Military?

You know, it really depends on the person. I have known people in my experience in the military who are fantastic soldiers, and though they didn't come out and declare it, I'm pretty certain they swung that way. It was only a little obvious, with some people it is. I know more then one soldier who if they had come up to me and told me, "Sergeant, I'm gay," I'd have looked right back at them and said "that's nice, get back to work." Unfortunately in the Basic Training Environment, coming out is a quick way out of the military for those privates who made a realization that perhaps this whole military thing is a mistake, and I can't make that same judgment call based on the soldier. If they come out, we have to tell the commander and it falls on him on what to do with these 'out' soldiers. Frankly, I don't want any soldier in the army that doesn't want to be there and is only going to waste my time getting out.

There has been a lot of mention of how many gay people the military kicks out each year, the number is apparently 13,500 since 1994 or so, but I would like to know how many of those were discharged during their initial entry training period, basically the ones who got in and promptly found a way to get out. I'm guessing about 80% fall under that category, but until I see the numbers, guess we'll never know.

Because with only a few exceptions, most people I have worked with don't really care about a soldier's orientation as long as they can soldier up and keep their personal affairs largely to themselves. In affect, as a matter of courtesy, most people just don't really want to know about your intimate affairs in the bedroom. Basically, if you can do your job and work with the team, that's all people really care about. If you need to make your sexual identity the focus of your interactions with other people, you need to find another job. The military is to intimate of a workforce to throw that in the mix.

My main issue of rescinding the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy is the influx of people enlisting who make their sexual orientation the main focus of their identity. Basically the flamboyant gays. Lesbians by and large do just fine in the military setting, I wouldn't be surprised if thirty percent of females currently serving are gay. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if fifty percent were, military service draws this personality type and they do well. Most people in the military are more then willing to work with lesbians.

But the flamboyent ones that want to join the military because they are attracted to a man in uniform, I'm not looking forward to this type joining the military (and yes, though there may not be a huge number, they will join for this very reason, and I'm sure there are gays in the military who fit this discription now, they are probably the ones most likely to get discharged under DADT) and watch the harrassment charges begin when they get their asses kicked. Seriously.

Most soldiers probably agree with this assessment, and there are plenty of soldiers serving now who are out amidst their command, who have retained them because they are good soldiers and they need bodies, and the gay soldiers aren't making it a huge issue. People know they're gay, and they keep it professional at work.

So basically, it boils down to this. There are gays currently serving in the military, they are serving admirably, and as long as they serve admirably, I don't really care if they are there and they are gay. As long as when they are in uniform they are a soldier first. You soldier up and do your job and work with the team, we can use you. You're gay? Fine, leave that in the bedroom and get to work. Don't bring it to work with you.