So I deactivated Facebook, which might be why I am currently blogging on my neglected blog. Kind of a sad chain of events I know. But don't see this as a sign that I'll post here more frequently. Though who knows, I might.
So what started this? I guess it begins with the drama of Facebook, and social media in general, a drama that I was feeding myself into like a stupid insecure teenage girl. I'm a 33 year old woman for criminy's sake, why am I feeding into that? And it really was over something stupid that was bugging the snot out of me and making me into the exact person that I really can't stand, bringing out all of the insecurities of my time as a teenager and twenty-something. Furthermore, right now, I just don't have time.
In the middle of everything that is going on right now, we are preparing to put our house on the market, I'm trying to sort through and get rid of stuff (a much needed forced dejunking) , I'm awaiting my orders into the IRR where I will likely be for the next few years (while I still have to drill in the meantime) , and I'm raising a very precocious and active two year old girl, along with her nine month old sister who is full fledged walking. I don't have time for the drama and time suck that is Facebook, which is so easy to get absorbed into that before you know it, three hours have passed and you haven't done squat. The stress of everything had to be getting to me and causing me to react to stupid trivial stuff in a way that was uncharacteristic of me.
I talked to several people about this, they all basically said the same thing, that I was making a mountain out of a mole hill and it was not a big deal, so don't make it into drama. My sister suggested I delete Facebook, and when she said it, the spontaneity of it was brilliant. I just needed to turn off that time suck, delete the app from my phone and use the precious time to get things done around the house. And if, in the event that my daughter demands my time and prevents me from accomplishing my chores, perhaps I should, I don't know, focus my attention on her instead. I don't want my kids to remember me as being glued to the damn phone.
The question is, will I return to Facebook? Undoubtedly, for all of its faults, it's a great way to stay connected with friends and family, though I will undoubtedly streamline it so I am not following so many pages. We are moving overseas in a few months, and that is one of the prime ways to stay connected with loved ones short of talking to them on the phone, and I don't know how often I will get to do that. However, I think just sitting down and deactivating Facebook every now and then is good for the soul, just a clean break from social media so you can turn your attention on the important things, namely family and spending quality time with children, watching them grow and trying to build them into becoming responsible individuals. I see a lot of character traits in my daughter that she shares with me. I want this to be a positive thing, not a negative. It took me a long time to get comfortable in my own skin, so to revert back to defensiveness and petty grudges over something that ultimately does not matter is not on my agenda at the moment. I'm an adult, in this era of perpetual childhood, I really need to act like one.
And right now, my life requires me to focus on the things that matter and not get wrapped up in the trivial matters that come with Facebook.